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Wandering amid the horror...
...consumed by a sputtering, ironical and inceacent laughter.
Created on 2004-01-28 01:04:30 (#2032295), last updated 2008-11-13
602 comments received, 507 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
316 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 5 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 1 Userpic
Basic Info| Name: | IM Farias |
|---|
BioI am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethic slurs for Chinese refugees. I write award winning operas. I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuously godlike trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed and I cook 30-Minute brownies in 10 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small South American village from a horde of army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I was scouted by the Astros. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang-gliding. I can walk on hot coals and dance on broken glass. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete realist and a ruthless bingo player. I see in four dimensions and occupy five. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I have been caller number 9 and won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured the country with a centrifugal force demonstration. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I have been known to bend spoons with my mind and forks with my tongue. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket.
I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week and when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I have discussed philosophy with the Dahlia Lama, politics with Henry Kissenger and gotten in a fist-fight with the Pope.
I weave, I dodge, I frolic and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. I have made full 4 course meals using only spam and a toaster. I have won bullfights in Barcelona, cliff diving competitions in Sri Lanka and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I breed prizewinning clams and have taught a few of them to sing. I have performed Hamlet in London, open-heart surgery in Houston's Ben Taub Hospital and unnatural acts in the back of an Oldsmobile.
I have spoken with Elvis!
I woo women with my sensuously godlike trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed and I cook 30-Minute brownies in 10 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small South American village from a horde of army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I was scouted by the Astros. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang-gliding. I can walk on hot coals and dance on broken glass. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete realist and a ruthless bingo player. I see in four dimensions and occupy five. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I have been caller number 9 and won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured the country with a centrifugal force demonstration. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I have been known to bend spoons with my mind and forks with my tongue. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket.
I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week and when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I have discussed philosophy with the Dahlia Lama, politics with Henry Kissenger and gotten in a fist-fight with the Pope.
I weave, I dodge, I frolic and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. I have made full 4 course meals using only spam and a toaster. I have won bullfights in Barcelona, cliff diving competitions in Sri Lanka and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I breed prizewinning clams and have taught a few of them to sing. I have performed Hamlet in London, open-heart surgery in Houston's Ben Taub Hospital and unnatural acts in the back of an Oldsmobile.
I have spoken with Elvis!
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achild, athenamac, bear_myth, buddhalotus, cat333, elizabearw, fulguritus, gleewoman, gypzfire, heatherthegreat, ihatehegemony, katesmash, megadam, mercuryatnoon, mokole, monster_max, moonsinger, qeox, riotclitshave, shkspr13, troyology
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achild, aethyrflux, athenamac, basestickfigure, bear_myth, buddhalotus, candyflowers, cat333, comptonass_cody, danieltlp, elizabearw, flaminjane, fulguritus, gleewoman, greypup, gypzfire, heatherthegreat, ihatehegemony, katesmash, megadam, mercuryatnoon, mokole, moonsinger, nohbdy_majere, qeox, shadowknt, shkspr13, troyology, visitorfic
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